Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
