My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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