oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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