i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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