i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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