My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
