Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
