you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
