I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
