Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
