I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Farmville is her only friend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
