If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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