if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
handjob tips. give me some.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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