How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
