I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think my tv is drunk
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
