Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
