so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Randomize
