I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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