She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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