So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i dont even know how to be here
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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