My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
