If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize