I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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