You can't special order awesome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
