i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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