I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
