My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
