remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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