I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Randomize
