What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
