Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
