if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
