Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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