hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
