i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
