Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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