is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
