the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
