And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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