so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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