Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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