Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
