yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize