so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's get the cat blown out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
