Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
