Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
