I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
