Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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