Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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