I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
