Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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