Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
