So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
