you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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