Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
