If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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