and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
