He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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