I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
